Responses to stress

Living with the knowledge that kidney failure is a chronic illness, one that will never go away, is stressful. People react in a variety of ways, which include:

Anger
It is easy to feel angry if you are diagnosed with kidney failure or any other chronic disease.

Anger can be constructive. Some people use it to focus their energy on living as full and active a life as possible.

Anger can also be destructive. Sometimes, patients get angry with people close to them, such as a spouse or parent, or with members of the medical team. Anger directed at those who want to help can result in them avoiding you, leaving you isolated and lonely.

Try not to let anger prevent you from accepting the support that is available to you or from simply talking to others. It may be difficult to accept help. Usually, however, there is somebody—a friend, or a member of the healthcare team, your family, or the clergy—with whom you are comfortable sharing your feelings.

Ask that person for help in dealing with your anger. Reaching out is a positive step and people will respect you for it.

Depression
Depression is a natural emotion which most people feel from time to time. Kidney patients are no exception. Often, just talking to someone is good therapy. As they come to terms with their diagnosis, many patients find they cope best by withdrawing for a period of time. If you are depressed, let the people close to you know that you need some time to yourself. Otherwise they may feel that you blame them for your illness.

Although it is hard for people who are depressed to continue to share their feelings with friends and family or with people they have just met, like the members of their healthcare team, it is important that you reach out. There are many support groups for patients and their families. They provide a way in which you can share your experiences with others. This can help.

If you (or your partner, or a family member) have frequent bouts of depression or find they are lasting for longer periods, you should seek help. Talk to your doctor or another member of your healthcare team. Don't worry about becoming emotional or tearful as you discuss your feelings. Your doctor will be able to assess whether you would benefit from counseling, or if antidepressant medicine might help you.

Low self-confidence
Your self-confidence can be lowered by, among other things, your:

One way many patients rebuild their confidence is by setting realistic goals, such as exercising or going out on a regular basis, and working towards achieving them. Remember that managing your treatment and keeping your kidney failure under control is a huge achievement in itself.

Talk to your medical team if you feel you would like more independence. Depending on your condition, there may be ways they can adjust your treatment to help you achieve this.